Did you know that 91% of women are dissatisfied with the way their bodies look? That’s truly unfortunate considering that we’ve got this one body, and getting cosmetic work done isn’t exactly cheap. That’s definitely a route you could take if you so choose. But, this article focuses instead on how to be confident in the now—before you do decide to have surgery, after the fact, or not at all.
Anyone who’s spent more than hour with me can attest to the fact that I have oily skin. I mean, when I’m 60 and I have the skin of a 30 year old (I currently look 16 despite pushing 30), I’ll be really grateful.
But, with oily skin oftentimes comes acne. I have it pretty much under control now, but in college, it was a pain—and it was directly connected to how I felt about myself.
Now, even on the days when my skin refuses to cooperate, I’m still confident.
How did I get to this point?
These are my tips for owning confidence and loving yourself through it all. Keep reading to find out how to be confident even if you don’t like the way you look.
Every time you look in the mirror, smile! Even a fake smile can boost your mood and reduce stress. If you’re feeling extra fancy, tell yourself three words: I love you! Even if you don’t like the way you look, never call yourself ugly. Remember Emoto’s water challenge? He and his team taped positive and negative words onto glasses of water, then froze them to see how the crystals would look. The water that was exposed to positivity looked beautiful and symmetrical, while the water exposed to negativity was distorted.
We are about 60% water. Ponder that.
Smile at yourself.
Smile at strangers.
Show the world what you’re made of.
And be nice.
2. Blame Your Parents
If you find your nose too thin, blame your parents and how their genes came together.
All this is to say, you didn’t choose how you came out, so why hate yourself over it? Love yourself through it.
How can you be so forgiving of the mistakes and imperfections of your partner + friends, but you can’t accept your pointy fairy ears?
Fairies are magical beings, you know.
When you were a kid, you probably hated Brussels sprouts. Now, as a bigger kid, they don’t bother you as much. And with some siracha on top, you’re probably a fan.
Some things are an acquired taste.
And the things that aren’t, oftentimes, can be changed—if you want to do so. But, it’s never safe or healthy to accompany that the desire for change with hatred.
Granted, body shaming is very real. And people who do not fall into the cis, white, thin, non-disabled category are more so impacted by it.
Hearing that there’s something wrong with you on a consistent basis affects your self-perception.
It’s up to us to give people the space to define themselves and to be themselves too.
3. Think of the lessons your body has taught you
What lessons has your body brought to you?
I learned that if you don’t fuel yourself with what you need, this lack will materialize one way or another. And those issues will only be fixed if you go to the root of the problem—courtesy of my oily skin.
Courtesy of my curly hair, I learned that once you accept something about yourself, everyone else will appreciate it too. As Shannon Boodram says, you own it, they love it.
Try the above exercise. Shift your focus, friends.
4. Try to Make Sense of Your Dislike
Why do you dislike the way you look? Who defined beauty for you? Did people used to make fun of you growing up? Do your features not match up with what’s portrayed on television?
At the end of the day, only what you think about yourself matters. Devote all of your energy into being your best self and doing what you were placed here to do. Not sure what that is? Experiment. Paint more, sing more, dance more. When you’re doing the things you love, you’re not focused on whether or not you’re beautiful. You are more than just your outer appearance. So, have fun!