Nothing pains me more than a women who puts herself down and plays small. As women we tend to feel deep insecurities and trash-talk ourselves in our head but also to our friends and people around us. This leads to self-deprecating humor and feeling even smaller when we should be focusing our energy on how to be more self-confident. I hope you’re ready for some straight talk because today we’re getting real.
IT’S NO LONGER CUTE TO BE A MESS
Before I started my self-improvement journey, I was the QUEEN of thinking it was super cute and intriguing to joke about my imperfections. When I did it, my friends thought it was okay to do it.
I created my own low-vibration reality and it did NOT feel good! I didn’t think it was funny, I was just masking major insecurities. I thought if I made fun of myself first it won’t hurt as bad if someone makes fun of me.
YOU NEED TO STOP DOING THIS! Your words create your reality! If you’re guilty of self-shaming, here are some tips…
BE MORE SELF-CONFIDENT IN YOUR SELF-IMPROVEMENT
It’s totally fine to own your flaws. In fact, I encourage it. I’m not parading around telling people I’m god damn Martha Stewart, but rather than saying “I suck at baking” I can take the approach of saying “I am challenging myself to learn how to bake and I am excited to learn more about it!”.
Who doesn’t love a good comeback story!
MAKE SELF-LOVE A DAILY PRACTICE
Every morning write three thing you love about yourself and your life in your journal. Meditate on how good it feels to appreciate yourself and feel more self-confident! If you need some tips on meditation, check out my past post, “How to Meditate Your Way to a Successful Empire”. Focus on your heart chakra because the energies of self love and giving + receiving flow through it.
This practice will set your energy up for the day on a high-vibration so you can take over the world. You waste a sh*t ton of energy being mean to yourself and stressing out about your flaws. That’s energy you could use to fold your laundry heap or learn how to bake cookies.
It’s so much easier to get your sh*t together when you think you deserve to have a bomb-ass life so be nice to yourself!
COMMIT TO BEING 25% BETTER AT LIFE TODAY
Math is something I am currently trying to get better at and am excited to learn more (see what I did there? I didn’t say “I suck at math!”), but I DO know that 25% is a big jump.
I don’t want to you get overwhelmed so I’ll give you some action steps in a little bit but first let me explain.
If you keep accepting your flaws as being super cute, they’re not magically going to disappear. Again, no one is perfect and that’s a good thing. Think about the things you know deep down you want to change or learn, the things that make you feel a bit embarrassed or upset.
You have to take steps every day to get there and sometimes it requires breaking it down into small bites..HERE’S WHAT YOU CAN DO TODAY:
- Write down a list of things you joke about that makes you feel icky, ie: “My muffin top is the worst in these jeans,” “I suck at…,” “I’m such a slob,” “I need to get my sh*t together.”
- Now write down how they make you feel + how you WISH you felt about that subject. Use an “I am” statement, ie: “I am super fit,” “I am so much better at ___ than I used to be!” “I am super tidy and it feels great.” “I am so organized!”
- For each item write down 1 big step you can take today or tomorrow to kickstart that feeling, ie: sign up for a fitness class, sign up for a course, clean your place, etc.
- Read your “I am” statements every single morning and night until you believe them and manifest them
- Every day write down 3 new steps to take that day or the following day to improve yourself!
STOP CONVINCING YOURSELF YOUR DREAMS AREN’T FOR YOU
Another form of playing small is when you convince yourself that your desires aren’t available for you, or that you don’t actually want them.
Insecurities might lead you to believe that you’ll never reach the level you’re striving for and you’ll decide to give up, make an excuse and push that desire and disappointment deep down.
Is this a pattern you repeat in your life?
Think of the opportunities you’ve missed in your life and how you justified them. Now think about whether you were speaking your truth with your excuses.
This makes me so sad because I have totally done this many times in my life but I’m not doing it any more. What makes me even MORE sad is thinking about the choices I made that WERE in alignment with my highest purpose, and realizing most people won’t experience that pride. Where would I be now if I let fear and insecurities made my decisions for me? It fully terrifies me!
BE YOUR OWN DOWN A** B****
You may have already heard of the concept of treating yourself like you would your best friend. I was in a yoga class on a day where I was not particularly loving myself, and was probably hung-over. The instructor had us wrap our arms around our chests and give ourselves a big hug. He asked us to look in the mirror and be mindful of our initial thoughts and whether we would ever say these things about someone we loved.
I’ll be straight with you, I fully balled my eyes out when I realized how horribly mean I’d been to myself. I didn’t deserve to be treated that way and especially not from the one person that’s supposed my down a** b**** for life (myself).
I encourage you to make a commitment to yourself to treat yourself with love. When I ended my negative self talk and self-deprecating humour I made space for more positive and empowering energy which allowed me to MASSIVELY UP-LEVEL MY LIVE!
I’ve learned and improved in so many areas and made investments in myself because I finally realized I was worth the spend and the energy!
I want ALL of your “I am” statements to come true in the next few months and I know they can if you put your energy into them!
Sending love your way xoxoox,
Amber-Lee S. humblelifestyle.com